Aspies dating

If you make dating a positive experience, chances are the next time around it will be positive again, whether it’s with the person you are dating now or someone else in the future. Dr. Kenneth Roberson is an Asperger’s psychologist in San Francisco with over 30 years of experience. To ask a question or schedule an appointment, please call ... Dating is a part of life in which, like all others, we will stand or fall, succeed or fail by just keeping on trying. We need to do it if we want to do it and not be old we cannot because we are Aspies and will find it too difficult or too painful. Aspergers Dating Site is an Online Dating Community for Singles with Asperger's Syndrome. Our Goal is to Make Your Dating Interaction Comfortable, Pleasant and Nice! Create a Free Profile and Meet Caring, Good Looking and Cute Women and Men Who Understand You and Want to Have a Date! From Ellie’s story, it’s obvious there are benefits to aspies dating aspies. However, that’s not the only option, and it might not be the best option for you. (As I mentioned earlier, there are fewer women than men diagnosed with high functioning autism, so unless you’re a heterosexual female or a gay male, seeking out a partner with ... Aspie-singles.com is a friendly Autism Dating – Aspergers dating and Friendship site. We operate world wide but we are one of the highest ranking sites for Autism Dating in the US, Canada and in the UK. Women can use all features for free here this is why we have an uncommon high ratio of women on our site. Here are 10 points to keep in mind when falling in love with one of us Aspies: 1. We prefer to listen. Anyone who knows the basic signs of Asperger’s syndrome will understand this. We’re not that interested in talking, but listening to other people, learning their opinions, or just sharing our thoughts now and then, that we can handle perfectly. Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism, on the higher end of the spectrum. Aspies, as we’re known, are typically known for being intellectual and/or artistic, having poor social skills ... Dating someone with Aspergers is drastically different than a normal relationship, but we do not choose who we fall in love and there are times when life puts us in funny situations such as falling for an Aspie. If something like that happened to you, don’t worry, Aspies are perfectly capable of having a healthy relationship. #aspiedating #asdating #aspergers #autism #asd #freedating meet people aspie, meet aspies, meet autistic spectrum, meet people aspergers , meet people spetrum, free aspergers dating, free autism dating, aspie dating, asd dating, asdating, meet people aspie, meet aspies, meet autistic spectrum, meet people aspergers , meet people spetrum, free ... How to Date an Aspie. If you're a neurotypical person dating an autistic person, it's a good idea to educate yourself on how an aspie will act in various relationship situation, or you might get offended by his/her seemingly cold attitude....

Aspergers

2010.03.24 21:25 Aspergers

For safe and helpful conversation with people who have Asperger's Syndrome or those close to them. We also welcome people with other autism spectrum disorders.
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2017.06.21 01:09 JacoboBlandonPineda aspergers irl

I tried to get this up from the ground but wasn't able to, and people hated it, so just go to /aspiememes instead, it has more content and it's more active anyway.
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2020.09.19 02:36 throwaway54353465 Self judging on dating apps about having Aspergers and my current unemployment

Hey everyone. I'm 24M, turning 25 next month. A couple days ago, I rejoined match, and I've already found someone who I'm really interested in talking to. She's 28F, but there are a few things that are holding me back and making me feel like she's out of my league.
To start with, I have Aspergers. Although I'm high functioning, extroverted and have decent social skills, I still can have a hard time with nonverbal communication and "reading between the lines". I'll often have to ask for clarification on what someone means, since I don't always understand perfectly, and I feel like this could be annoying and make me seem like I'm stupid or immature to some people. Sometimes I have self-judging thoughts as well, like "why would a confident, successful neurotypical woman want to date a confused aspie?" I know that there are plenty of examples of people with Aspergers dating neurotypical people, but the thoughts aren't that easy to get rid of.
Also, I don't have a job right now. I'm a recent college graduate and with the pandemic going on I've been trying to get my bearings and get a sense of what places are hiring and which ones aren't before I dive in. I don't think I'm a basement dweller or anything, it's just that she appears to have a well established career and have her life together more than I do. This might be just because she's older, but I feel like I would seem either like an immature manchild or a basement dwelling neckbeard.
These issues are not specific to this one person, either. I've seen plenty of women on dating apps who I felt like I really wanted to get to know, but when I started trying to talk to them or even thinking about talking to them I never feel like I'm good enough for them. I'm considering deleting all of my apps.
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2020.09.19 01:44 Micahzz Feeling depressed.

Been talking to this girl for a while she was really cool and interesting. Now she's said she isn't romantically interested in me and i understand but now I'm back at square one which makes me feel incredibly sad. Online dating us absolutely hellish in my opinion. Aside from a handful of good people I've met from on there almost everyone is superficial and generally quite boring to me. And to be fair I'm sure I'm boring to them as well as most of my interests are focused on intellectual heavy stuff such as philosophy politics or religion. Anyway I could spend months on there trying to find someone and maybe get 4 responses if I'm lucky, half of which can only consistently reply with a single word when i generally put a lot of effort into the conversation often giving an entire paragraph only to get something like "cool" honestly I feel like fucking giving up at this point. Maybe ill have some luck over at aspie rfr.
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2020.09.19 01:26 throwaway54353465 Self judging about having Aspergers and my current unemployment

Hey everyone. I'm 24M, turning 25 next month. A couple days ago, I rejoined match, and I've already found someone who I'm really interested in talking to. She's 28F, but there are a few things that are holding me back and making me feel like she's out of my league.
To start with, I have Aspergers. Although I'm high functioning, extroverted and have decent social skills, I still can have a hard time with nonverbal communication and "reading between the lines". I'll often have to ask for clarification on what someone means, since I don't always understand perfectly, and I feel like this could be annoying and make me seem like I'm stupid or immature to some people. Sometimes I have self-judging thoughts as well, like "why would a confident, successful neurotypical woman want to date a confused aspie?" I know that there are plenty of examples of people with Aspergers dating neurotypical people, but the thoughts aren't that easy to get rid of.
Also, I don't have a job right now. I'm a recent college graduate and with the pandemic going on I've been trying to get my bearings and get a sense of what places are hiring and which ones aren't before I dive in. I don't think I'm a basement dweller or anything, it's just that she appears to have a well established career and have her life together more than I do. This might be just because she's older, but I feel like I would seem either like an immature manchild or a basement dwelling neckbeard.
These issues are not specific to this one person, either. I've seen plenty of women on dating apps who I felt like I really wanted to get to know, but when I started trying to talk to them or even thinking about talking to them I never feel like I'm good enough for them. I'm considering deleting all of my apps.
Thoughts?
submitted by throwaway54353465 to dating [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 00:41 throwaway54353465 Self judging about having Asparagus and my current unemployment

Hey everyone. I'm 24M, turning 25 next month. A couple days ago, I rejoined match, and I've already found someone who I'm really interested in talking to. She's 28F, but there are a few things that are holding me back and making me feel like she's out of my league.
To start with, I have Aspergers. Although I'm high functioning, extroverted and have decent social skills, I still can have a hard time with nonverbal communication and "reading between the lines". I'll often have to ask for clarification on what someone means, since I don't always understand perfectly, and I feel like this could be annoying and make me seem like I'm stupid or immature to some people. Sometimes I have self-judging thoughts as well, like "why would a confident, successful neurotypical woman want to date a confused aspie?" I know that there are plenty of examples of people with Aspergers dating neurotypical people, but the thoughts aren't that easy to get rid of.
Also, I don't have a job right now. I'm a recent college graduate and with the pandemic going on I've been trying to get my bearings and get a sense of what places are hiring and which ones aren't before I dive in. I don't think I'm a basement dweller or anything, it's just that she appears to have a well established career and have her life together more than I do. This might be just because she's older, but I feel like I would seem either like an immature manchild or a basement dwelling neckbeard.
These issues are not specific to this one person, either. I've seen plenty of women on dating apps who I felt like I really wanted to get to know, but when I started trying to talk to them or even thinking about talking to them I never feel like I'm good enough for them. I'm considering deleting all of my apps.
Thoughts?
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2020.09.18 03:51 opal-vomit I told an aspie I liked him and I thought he was showing signs of liking me back but he wasn’t? Is he using this as an excuse?

So I told this guy I liked him and I how I thought holding hands/cuddling on our third hangout and going on our “first date” meant something. He said he didn’t realize any of this and that he just wanted to be friends, and then told me he is on the spectrum and struggles socially but acts perfectly normal (which is why I’m assuming Asperger’s). But the first time, I called it a date because he paid for our food and picked me up and took me to the movies. So I’m really confused- do Aspies really not realize that any of this is romantic? And how would I tell if he actually liked me then? Like, is it not a little obvious from seeing stuff on TV or seeing couples in person that this is the type of stuff you would do going into a relationship? Or is he just playing it off this way because he doesn’t want to commit?
edit: we talked a bit more and I found out that he cuddled with me only because he thought I’d like it and it’d make me happy, but it wasn’t something he wanted. Isn’t that still leading me on or did he not realize what was gonna happen?
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2020.09.18 03:48 approachpattern Feeling guilty and scared after wasting thousands of dollars

Over the last 10 years, I've spent about $20,000 (usd) on social events and supporting items (like Uber rides, nice clothes, a dating coach (a service which I'd highly recommend against), and increased rent from living in a town closer to a major city (since my workplace is a couple of hours away from a major city).
After all of my efforts and money spent, I've made zero new friends and zero new romantic relationships. It turns out that the social arena is heavily biased against Aspies and that no amount of "self-improvement" effort will make things better.
I feel really bad about wasting all of this money. I also recently got laid off from my job, and having this extra $20k would have made things a lot better.
Has anyone here ever wasted or lost a lot of money? Anyone know any advice for feeling better?
Edit: Thanks so much to everyone who replied. You gave me a lot of new ways of looking at the situation.
I got some messages from people asking me to connect them to my former dating coach, so I'm assuming that when I wrote "I'd highly recommend against", some people missed the word "against".
The dating coach was really bad. She was very smooth talking and initially promised me that she could help. However, instead of listening to my concerns, she followed a one-size-fits-all solution to dating. She even yelled at me for having Asperger's.
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2020.09.17 18:48 jdm4003 Just wanted to put my One Piece fanboyism out there

I think I've been a fan of One Piece ever since late 2016. I was in my 8th grade year when I first started watching the anime and witnessed Monkey D Luffy pop out of the barrel. From then on, I began to fall in love with the goofiness of the world and the intense, heart riveting moments that define the series. I caught up to the anime by the time they started showing Zou and I've been with the journey ever since via the manga (I'm up to date with the Wano Arc in the manga btw)
Earlier this year, I finally started collecting manga, so I went out and bought One Piece volumes. Currently, I'm up to volume 45 in my collection and I think I've fallen in love with this story all over again to the point where it might be an obsession lol. Being an Aspie and all, that sort of stuff tends to happen to me with the stuff I really like. Seeing the immaculate story telling that Eiichiro Oda creates in physical form is a blessing.
So far, my favorite arcs on this reread is definitely Water 7/Enies Lobby. There's just something timeless about a group of ragtag pirates challenging the heart of the entire World Government all for the sake of a woman who believed that her entire existence is a crime, but with the Straw Hats, she finally found a reason to live. Also, I really loved Usopp (my favorite SH besides Luffy) and his character arc during the Water 7 Saga. Even he realized that the Going Merry was done for, but still, what he was fighting most was his own insecurities. He couldn't find self worth in himself and was afraid that the crew would just leave him behind. But when Robin was prepared to sacrifice herself, he stepped up as the amazing Sniper King and did the things that the Monster Trio couldn't in order to save her. I think probably why I can relate to both Usopp and Robin is because I personally have struggled with feelings of worthlessness and insecurities too, so when Oda kept pushing the theme of living in these arcs, it made me nearly cry but not as much as I cried when the crew had to put the Going Merry to rest.
Anyways, currently, I'm a senior in high school still checking the Shonen Jump app for whenever a new chapter comes out lol. Hopefully, I'll be able to purchase the third box set soon, so I can gush over the Summit War Saga again and maybe put my thoughts out on those. I kinda like analysing key themes and characters in the story arcs that I read, but I've never done one on here before. Sometimes on my Twitter tho. To wrap this up though, I'm thankful that I decided to join the One Piece cruise and as much as I would like for the series to last until I'm old and weary, Mr. Oda has been doing this weekly manga gig since before I was even born, so if he intends to wrap the story in the next 5 to 10 years, then I hope he puffs out his chest with enormous pride and goes out with a BOOM like a real man!
submitted by jdm4003 to OnePiece [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 09:30 lo0kin4truth How to bring up with my dad that he may be on the spectrum

I (F22) have a strong suspicion that my dad (M46) is on the spectrum. My brother (M23) is diagnosed, as are three of our cousins (on my dad’s side). I suspect at least two more of our cousins are autistic as well. I haven’t heard of any of my dad’s parents or older relatives having autism, but he’s kind of not fond of the whole mental health thing, so it wouldn’t have come up anyway.
My dad grew up in poverty and alongside many siblings, so his parents wouldn’t have even had time to consider he was different. At least, they wouldn’t have had any way to do anything about it (seek professional help, educate themselves on mental health). He said he was bullied as a kid but always claimed from the context of being physically different than the bullies (skinny, pale). He is super stubborn, really likes one or two kinds of meals best. A ton of his favorites have just become the family’s favorite, i. e. vacation spots, books, movies. Just because he’s kinda the head of the household and if he has his preference he’ll pick specific things. He has a rapt fascination with a certain book series, and has read said book series and accompanying works at least ten separate times. I could go on and on about similar patterns I am recalling of him that match my boyfriend and brother (both autistic).
Now, I just always figured this was how he was, and never thought that he may be on the spectrum. He certainly didn’t seem to have the same social issues my brother has, and we were raised with a negative view of autism so even talking about it was pretty hush hush.
However, I’m currently dating someone who has aspergers, and I made a comment on an aspie post about how I wondered whether our potential kids would have a greater chance of being autistic since my brother is. But like, no one else in my family has it. I got a response that it is generally a genetic trait, and I suddenly compared things I know about my brother and my boyfriend and autism in general to my dad... and it’s basically a perfect match. Even going down the list of diagnosis requirements in the DSM. As I grew up, I started to pick up on how dad will often overshare in conversations, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable for family members. This has translated into a lecture parenting style that my brother and I have been on the receiving end of. I could go on and on.
ANYWAY. All that to say. I think dad could be autistic. But he’s not gung ho about mental health awareness, and I think my parents still see autism as like a disease or illness. Something negative that isn’t desirable. I used to see it that way too, until I met my boyfriend and saw the diagnosis through a completely different lens.
So, how should I bring it up?
Friend suggested bringing it up to mom first just to see what she says. But if she just says “I don’t think so,” then what?? Like it would kinda be banking on her seeing connections... but even then, that feels like a backwards way to do it. But giving dad a call and saying “Hey I’ve been thinking you might be autistic” feels harsh and accusatory.
TLDR; I (F22) am just now realizing that my dad (M46) is likely autistic. I want to bring it up to him and mom, but they both have a negative view of mental health and even autism, based on how me and my autistic brother (M23) were raised. How should I approach this?
Want to add that my main desire in bringing this up is that it might help my mom understand my dad more and vice verse. I’ve literally heard her say that he is not good at being loving, which is such an NT way of interpreting autistic behavior.
submitted by lo0kin4truth to autism [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 04:02 yummisushi I gave up on my Aspie Interest

I’ve written here a few times, but just a quick background... I met this guy online about a year ago, we hung out a couple times, then he pretty much ghosted me, texted me a couple of months later and apologized, said he was going through a bunch of stuff, I said it’s okay, we started talking again and maybe hung out 3 more times in person.
So since the last time we hung out, we would still text sporadically which had become the norm and I was very understanding of his lack of contact even though I was always uneasy that he was just going to ghost me again. I’ve been trying to make plans to hang out with him in person for weeks and weeks and he kept giving me excuse after excuse. The last time we chatted I blatantly said, “you know this is nice and all, but it would be nice if we could go on a date.” He immediately stopped texting.
I gave him a week before saying anything again. I said, “I guess I’m going to interpret your lack of response as a disinterest in going on a date with me. TWO days later he responds with, “huh?”... “I’ve been busy with work.” So I wrote back, “we were talking back and forth for over an hour and the minute I mention a date, you stop responding. What else am I supposed to think other than you have no interest. Am I wrong?” Again, no response.
So I decided I’m over trying. I’m over giving him the benefit of the doubt. I’m over excusing the fact that he makes me feel worthless. I’ve told him on many occasions that if he’s busy or feels like he can’t talk, it’s okay, but just to give me a quick two second text and just say so, not to leave me questioning everything for days, weeks at a time. And he has always said, sorry, he understands, but never followed through on anything.
I’ve just been so tired of waiting around for him to come around. So I reactivated my online profile again and actually connected with someone else. He’s an NT, like me, and he actually asks me questions and engages in the conversation and it’s such a stark difference from what I’ve been experiencing this past year with my Aspie interest. So a few days ago, I finally get a text from my ex Aspie interest. “Hello. How are you?” And then I started feeling guilty for moving on. I gave him a quick short answer. “Hi. I’ve been busy, tired. You?” No response. It’s been days and still no response. And you know what? I don’t feel guilty anymore. But I still feel like maybe I owe him a text letting him know I’m not interested anymore? Is it worth saying anything at all at this point? I really wish I had a success story here, and sorry if this post is a bummer...
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2020.09.14 19:53 tobpe93 As a non-NT I can clash very hard with other non-NTs.

I (an aspie) have picked up Tinder again and a few days back I swiped a person right. I could tell from the start that she wasn't a person I wanted a romantic connection with and her profile said that she was only looking for friends. We matched and she immediately started talking to me. It started with the usual stuff about telling each other about ourselves. Then she told me that she thought that I was attractive. I said "thank you" instead of "you too", because I didn't want to be dishonest. At this point I was trying to sleep, but I saw that she kept sending messages. I woke up to four messages about what my dream date would be, that she looked forward to talking to me more, a wish good night and a wish good morning. At this point I kinda stopped responding. Until I received a message asking me if I wanted to meet up soon, I responded that I wanted to keep up social distancing (which is a bad excuse judging from how I have lived the last months), but she responded that we could meet up and still keep our distance. I have no evidence that she isn't NT, but it is an educated guess.
There is of course much truth to aspies getting along well with aspies. But I very often get annoyed by and have a hard time to understand other aspies. Mostly because of my hyper sensitivity as an aspie and how I try to banish some traits from myself and then find the traits in others. I have been on both ends of relationships where one part is obsessive and the other part is mostly just pitying, both ends are exhausting.
Do you feel that you sometimes have a hard time with aspies because you are aspies?
submitted by tobpe93 to aspergers [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 12:52 Putthepitadown Autism, cross-cultural, age gap relationship doubts. (M27) (M55)

I’ve been holding back posting here. I feel like I’m in a situation not many people can relate to — that’s why I no longer come to my friends for advice. They, understandably, place my relationship with my BF (one year yesterday) into their own dynamics and standards. Tho, to be fair, I feel like I’m making a lot of excuses on his behalf instead of just only respecting his ASD. There’s a lot of personal details being shared today - and I’m a little pensive about it.
I have lived in Taiwan for 3 years. I never set out to date an older - very much older boyfriend and neither did he seek out a foreign one.
Yesterday was our anniversary. I had a doctor’s appointment to get results from different brain examinations. I been having seizures this summer and I lost part of my hearing (having ringing and noises and lost of balance etc) in April or May. He didn’t answer texts the day of the appointment, prior, nor yesterday. We finally had a fight about it today.
Last Tuesday, before the appointment, we talked and had a quick fight in which he made a condescending remark on me telling him the time and place of the appointment. I had taken a picture of it - it’s in Chinese - and I said it was a flex appointment in the morning on Friday. He wrote, “Honey, it’s so important and you missed it, it’s under the premise of you know it’s IN THE MORN”.
To which I simply circled the info on the paper and called him out. He said sorry and I said I needed to disengage from this conversation. He had moments prior to this text conversation bragged about his respectful behavior and that we only speak in English out of respect for me. He even wrote, “About the language thing, before our first date out I've promised helping you with mandarin as a friend, but you turned me down many times”.
Truth is I have spoken to him in Chinese at most a dozen times. Each time he’s shut me down. One time he was irate and hungry and shouted that my Chinese as shit and left storming.
He has showed me videos of foreigners and their Chinese and I’ve asked him to stop and explained why it was uncomfortable for me.
Anyhow. I didn’t talk to him the day after. The entire day. I was mulling over this year and how many times I’ve felt like communication was affected by many other factors. It’s hard for him to see how other people think and feel (ASD) and up to this point I have written him a get out of jail free card because I understand many things I may take offense to is not intended on his part. That’s entirely true.
He didn’t talk to me the following 4 days. I went to my appointment alone and texted him the details in several texts. Wished him happy anniversary, which if I’m being honest here I was being snarky.
He had logged out of Instagram that week so he didn’t see the messages and photos I sent. This is important as I bring up the second issue. Instagram. First, we communicate on Instagram when we feel like we can’t use words and/or we are hurt or upset. It’s like a non verbal communication link. On 3-4 occasions he has blocked me on Instagram. (I have never done this, I think it’s immature especially since our way of reaching out) we have had talks about this and why it’s not cool. So I feel him logging out of Instagram and using that as an excuse was shitty of him.
His excuse for all of this was, you didn’t talk to me so “I logged out on instagram after you went silent here”. That’s it. We hashed it out but he didn’t think he was in the wrong but I was because I started it.
I don’t need to get people to agree with me on that argument - it’s just important to give examples 100% as they are for before I continue rambling.
Back to Instagram he’s messaged guys on there on two occasions. How do I know? He accidentally messaged me twice instead of them. I have later been shown the messages and no he’s not cheating. But it sat in the back of my mind. He had downloaded many photos of guys on his phone, bodies - but also faces too. The faces actually bother me a lot. This wouldn’t irk me if everything else was normal - except he doesn’t have a single photo of me. Like at all. He’s never asked for one. He’s never sent a photo (I have asked six times during the first four months and given up). We have never taken a picture together.
There was a period in spring where I was feeling really insecure. Plus he had accused me of sleeping with other guys because I didn’t talk much (didn’t shut him out just was quiet and passive) for 9 days after I had recently lost my hearing and started meds which caused me severe symptoms (such as suicidal thoughts - I reached out appropriately to get help but didn’t bring up that to my boyfriend - even today. I felt it would be manipulative). I felt hurt that he immediately jumped to that and we had a fight then. He said he didn’t know if he could trust me because I’ve just randomly giving excuses - my medical situation - to excuse my behavior. That stuck with me.
The following weeks because we weren’t having intimacy I asked if he found me attractive and he didn’t answer. So I was broken. He later says he was just dumbstruck and tbf to his ASD maybe that’s just me getting offended over nothing.
Fast forward we had a rough summer. But in August I had brought up everything - including talks not mentioned here - and he was shocked. It didn’t even occur to him that I was hurt over this and that.
I asked that he be more expressive with affection, and how I felt insecure, and wanting apologies for when I’m hurt. He started to change immediately for that month. It’s because of that that I didn’t leave him. He apologized for stomping off that day - that happened later the next week - and he was verbally more affectionate and even more touchy (he doesn’t do pda because of ASD and I respect that and haven’t forced him to but I knew it was him trying hard and I appreciated it.)
Only I haven’t seen him in a month. He’s been busy doing translation work. What was supposed to be a week, became two and now four.
We have had intimacy I think 3 times at most since May. All of which is me doing everything and just getting my part done on my own. So I’m very much not satisfied there. I brought it up.
He said - and to be fair he’s said it in February - that couples don’t always stay attracted or passionate - that goes away. Only, it’s been a year today and it’s been 6 or 8 times total. And about 2 times were very bad. Like not complaining cause it was t sexy but like there was a verbal exchange during that was kinda shitty so we had a talk after. He is literally always hard. He brags about it and it’s true. Ironically I have had issues this past 2 months cause of anxiety and honestly feeling kinda shitty and unsexy. I appreciate the verbal affection but it’s hard to get over.
I feel like an idiot. So many conversations end with him saying I have extreme expectations or that Im hyper emotional and sensitive and like getting angry.
I have been filling myself up with so much doubt and reservations on my behavior. Am I a hyper emotional unstable guy? I could be. I get hurt easily and I’m with a man who says things he doesn’t mean and doesn’t think he should apologize for it. Which that may be valid but just a case of not being a match. I have this fear that I’m being toxic, or manipulative
For example he will forget things he says quite quickly and I’ll bring it up and it looks as tho I’m gaslighting him, telling him things he had said which he doesn’t believe. Which makes me doubt myself in return.
To add some more - uh spice? - to this. He’s mentioned a green card marriage even if we break up so I can get nationalized. Which I said, I do want to nationalize, but we can talk about it in 6 months and then again in another 6 months after that. We have a relationship to rebuild first. It doesn’t save a relationship any more than a baby. He actually seemed to be pleased saying he should also work on building my trust.
I think his expectations of a relationship are being met. Mine aren’t. I shouldn’t feel guilty that I want to break up with him. But I do terribly and I think it’s the ASD. I feel like in August he was trying. I was happy then. And holding this against him seems mean. It’s just that I’m not happy. And part of me thinks if he tried more or consistently I’d be happy, and the other part of me says that’s an unrealistic expectation of a person with ASD.
It’s not right? Would I be wrong to leave because I don’t want to date an aspie? Am I toxic?
submitted by Putthepitadown to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 17:44 genericusername4724 Anyone have dating profile tips?

Hi. I’ve had all dating apps deleted for the past 3 months because I needed a mental cleanse from the overwhelming nature of them.
However...I was thinking of going back.
As an aspie, I feel like I have no awareness on what women want to see on male profiles. I have a hard time selling myself, because I’m not yet sure about what my true strengths are.
———————————
For guys: have any of you made a change on your profile which led to better results?
For girls: what are you looking for when you swipe right or left? What is it that you need to see in the pictures? And if you had to pick between a funny profile and a genuine profile...what would it be and why?
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2020.09.12 10:15 _pixieking HELPPPP

Hi all. I'm 25 w/ aspergers The love of my life is NT... And this is a story about the dilemma I am currently facing. So.
I had my girlfriend of close to two years over for what was meant to be a week or so.. It worked out in a way because I was "working from home" for the majority of the week.. My work days were Thursday and Friday.. And my girlfriend was seemly okay with it.. I was a bit excited to play house.. We even got a visitor.. Her best friend.
Fast forward.. It was around 7pm (on Thursday) , and her friend left.. I really needed to use the loo.. So I expressed that.. Like I REALLY needed to go, I mean.. It was the first time since work was done that I needed to visit the toilet. But she insisted on going first and so she did.. Said she wouldn't be long.. But she was taking forever and I couldn't understand.. Why.. I peeped through the door hole.. (Wrong I know) but I saw her with a little bag.. And was confused. Maybe they're tampons?! It was my turn to go.. And for some reason.. I checked her toiletry bag.. I found the little black bag.. And to my surprise.. I found a white powder with straws and cards inside. I know I crossed boundaries. But.. She was acting SO strange.
That peek through the door hole.. I.. Witnessed my girlfriend taking drugs.. Drugs are bad.. I'm not a fan.. I felt lied to.. I felt deceived.. I was so confused.. And I didn't know what to so.. I was worried.. I called my best friend.. Asked for advice.. Which wasn't so helpful.. So then I called her mom. Yes, her mom.. Its what my gut told me to do.. We spoke on the phone for a whole 16 minutes.. And she advised me to.. Not say a word about it.. And to bring her home the next day.. She told me to calm down.. And she said that.. She's been through it before.. And it's hard. But, I wanted the truth.. And I wanted her to be honest to me.. 😔 I've never lied to my girlfriend.. And I was under the impression she's never lied to me.
I eventually confronted her.. About it.. But she denied it.. She said it was her friends.. And I told her.. I saw her use it.. She said she slipped up.
Im sure about other aspies but.. I tend to shut down when in shock.. I can't think of anything or speak.. - that's what happened for the rest of Thursday night. I fell asleep.. And then Friday was work again.. I sat next to her on Friday morning and spoke to her.. Before leaving for work.. I cried a little because things started making more sense.. And then I cried more on the way to work.. And at work.. I was a wreck. My friend/colleague urged me.. To go home and to talk to her.. - I wanted to do that.. But I guess I needed a little push. So I did.. I went home and I spoke to her.. I was upset.. But she needs help.. And my feelings will never change. She urged me to not tell her mom.. In fear that she'd be kicked out.. But little did she know.. Her mom already knew.. I spoke to her mom about her feeling.. Like she had no one to talk to.. And that she was afraid of being kicked out and losing her family.. To which her mom responded.. She'd booked a counsellor and she wouldn't kick her out.. So I think it was the right thing to do.. I think I made the right decision.
Do you guys think I did the wrong thing? Does she hate me now.. And.. Will she get better.. Also I don't know if she still.. Is dating me. I'd like for other NTs to weigh in.. And aspies.. Too.. I still love her.. And want her to.. Get better.. I don't know for sure how long she's been doing drugs.. But.. Help me understand my situation please.
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2020.09.11 21:57 ForerunnerAI10 I Hear Aspie Women Are More Like Men, Is That True?

It's a stereotype that Aspie Women and girls behave more like NT men. To those who dated Aspie women, is this true?
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2020.09.11 13:30 aina69xd I want to get high

Hi, so title says it all, but heres some quick background info why i want to ruin my life jk.Im not sure if that's a smart idea lol. I mean its defenitely not smart but fuck it xd...Anyways i've been depressive'is all my life since i can remember myself so since my teen years i love to get drunk on weekends and sometimes even in the middle of the week. But it kinda gets boring to just get drunk and the hangovers are killing me im 25 now. 5 years ago it was easier. So my psychiatrist gave me some lexotanil,xanax and sometimes i would take like 6mg of bromazepam(lexotanil) and drink like 4-5 beers and i would get fucked up like on 9 beers but less hangover.xD and xanax is so much fun too, but blackouts its not really fun but again i love the feeling of xanax and no im not addicted(just yet lol) ive been prescribed my second 0.5mg 30 tablets like a week ago. Only drank on weekend like 7 xans......
I love benzodiazepines as they are downers just like opiates? Slowing cns and so on..? So i've been reading alot about opiates and would like to try something but like a micro dose for the first times. I've read about apap(paracetamol?) Does it makes you high or what because i have it i think right now xD my other drug of choice would be tramadol or whatever my doctor(in europe) can prescribe me. I have found some oxycodone tabs in my car that i bought lol but their expiratiob date is expire for like 3 months and i think i lost them. I just want to get high i dont want to take xanax again(its friday btw i want to have fun)
So what should i try or i should stop being retarded and get myself ssri drugs or somethinf because im wishing for a deathwish? And sry my english sucks real bad im not quite used to writing such long texts in english. I think i might have aspies too.:D Anyways i want to get high.:(
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2020.09.09 18:04 TheOnlyCompetent I'm going on a date with another aspie

Hey, we have known eachother for about a month now, meeting online through a mutual friend. We are the same kind of nerd, loving books and writing and literature. We're in alot of ways the same kind of person, outside our genders. We can relate to eachother on a level that I've never felt with someone else before.
Though I'm also worried in a way, if we go on a date and it goes well, she's really high-maintenance. I've had bad anxiety in the past, but she's still stuck in the thick of it. Like she couldn't open an rejection email for a job she wanted without getting really drunk, because she couldn't face the disappointment. I'm worried her problems will consume my day to day as I try my best to support her through her woes.
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2020.09.06 21:08 ImfrenchThankGod Would a man with an MD in surgery who's also tall and fairly good looking but who has Asperger's and thus less empathy be deemed to be "low value"?

I met this guy a couple days ago in a library in my town and he seemed fairly interested in me (I wonder why lmao) and he decided to start talking to me. He was decently charming I'd wager and that really captivated me,as he was talking so passionately whenever he wanted to say something,especially about his field. So we obviously decided to go on a date and the things went rather smoothly. He tripped once and was rather clumsy but I do t see that as a big problem...what really put me off was not his attire or the fact that he had no listening skills but the fact that somewhere in the middle of the date he told me right off the bat that "he wants to be honest to me about it" and told me that he has Asperger's. I don't see this as a problem again,because he's very warm and nice to me and he tries to listen whenever I say something (he's not talking only about his small quirks). My question to you is wether he's a low value guy or not. Should I ditch him solely because he is an aspie?
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2020.09.01 22:41 MaybeTomorrowOr Hey everyone, I'm a 23 year old woman who has aspergers like qualities. I recently got out of a relationship, and I wanted to share some thought on my life so far. Maybe these revelations will help you.

Hi everyone. I am going to map out my life for you.
From ages 0-9, I was okay. I had enough friends, and even if I didn't, I didn't really care what anyone thought of me. I was a silly, happy little kid.
From ages 9-18, I became more and more miserable with each passing year. I was incredibly vulnerable and shy, and was bullied, manipulated, bossed around. Had some very toxic friendships. Was extremely co-dependent. I also was involved with competitive sports, where I struggled significantly as the levels progressed, but I couldn't bring myself to quit.
By age 15, I was miserable. I think the first time I remember feeling depressed was age 13. My best friend ditched me and took all my other friends with her, and I was the laughing stock of the soccer team, and endured jabs from softball players as well. I was a very good student, but no one cares about that. I was socially awkward and always nervous.
By the time I was 18, I was just exhausted. I felt like I had failed at life thus far. I didn't even get any playing time during the play offs for soccer, despite my parents spending thousands of dollars on fancy clinics and teams. I didn't even make the softball team, as a senior. I had no prom date, no crush, never been asked to a dance. Only a few friends, and honestly, I really felt like they only hung out with me for comedic relief. I was clinically depressed.
Then I went to college, and a good one too. I was very excited for a fresh start. Things got better, I was happy! However, I still was not equipped with the skills or confidence necessary to navigate adult relationships. My first 'relationship' with a boy ended terribly, I was so upset, and looking back, all he ever wanted was sex. I was still so awkward at the time, and alcohol just made things worse, and I just felt so embarrassed by the whole ordeal.
I continued dating here and there. Whenever I was on tinder or bumble, I would swipe past (as in, no) on any boy who looked remotely normally or had stereotypically attractive features. Although I was happier than I was in high school, I still saw myself as disparate from the rest of society. I was so terrified to date a boy who appeared "normal", because I knew he would quickly realize how abnormal I was. So I gravitated towards boys who appeared Aspie, who were skinny, awkward engineering majors. I eventually dated one, for a year and a half. Until one day I realized, I deserved better.
My boyfriend was lazy. He played videogames 30 hours a week or more. He played video games while I was over. He never shaved. Hardly washed his clothes. Never exercised. And despite having a good job, admitted to having no ambition. But I stayed with him. Why? Because I knew he was weird, like me, right? Here's the catch though. I exercise and shower every day. I have tons of ambition and am applying to PhD programs this year after receiving a 3.9 GPA at a top university. I take good care of myself and wear nice outfits, and you know what, I can talk to anyone now. I am friendly, maybe even charismatic, not shy at all.
This past weekend, my boyfriend invited me to stay with his friends near the beach for a weekend, and his friends brought there girlfriends as well. I had never met any of these people before, but I got along with everyone and had an amazing time. Meanwhile, my boyfriend sat on a chair away from everyone from the most of the night and scrolled through reddit, not participating in the conversation at all. Probably how I would have acted when I was 10 or 11.
This moment was cathartic for me. I realized that I was dating a boy who I thought I deserved, because I hadn't updated my self image in 10 years or more. I know it's a cliche and cheesy as hell, but the idea that we accept the love we think we deserve resonates with me quite strongly. My boyfriend didn't care about himself. He made very little effort in the relationship. Yet I wouldn't leave, because I truly believed we were a pair matched in all qualities.
I am not going to date anyone for at least a year. Maybe when I get into grad school I will try again. The next year of my life is going to be about building confidence, working on my insecurities, and focusing more on the person I have become and less on the person I was. I will always be a little different. I will always have quirks. But I don't need to base my entire identity off of them. And neither do you.
Thank you for reading this, and maybe you should also ask yourself, are you living the life that you think you deserve, or the one you truly do?
Best,
MaybeTomorrowOr
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2020.08.31 14:51 sotn-97 Asperger's and dating experience?

I know some aspies find dating pointless or have just given up on it. But for those out there trying: Does it often feel like it went great but the day after clarity comes and it's a big "oh! I shouldn't have said that!" Also, at what stage do you prefer to explain you're on the spectrum? What I often say is "hey I might look a lot more awkward and shy irl" and even then they feel I'm exaggerating, because I'm perceived so differently through voice and text.
Yesterday my date told me was really intensely staring at her, I became self-conscious, I literally started looking at the ground. She was very straightforward too.
So right now I'm still trying to figure out where I stand, and if I've been always doing this and it took a really honest person to tell me.
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2020.08.29 18:09 jokeblokejoke Funny Date as a Young Man with Asperger's

Just looking back at some memories with the new knowledge that I am an aspie.
So I was talking to a cute girl and we planned to go out on a date to see a movie. So we go to the movie and she dressed up and looks great! We get some snacks, and sit down just in time for trailers.
The theater dims, the movie starts playing, aaaand I start watching the movie. Some time has passed and she is noticably fidgeting so I think to myself "maybe she is cold?". I give her my jacket and get back to the movie, its getting good! The movie is reaching it's climax and she is now noticably restless. I ask "Are you ok? Can I get you anything or do something for you?". "No, I'm ok." Alright well I guess she's ok, and I turn my full attention back to the movie once again.
Needless to say, we didn't go back out again. I had missed the whole point of going to a dark environment with a cute girl. IF someone had just told me what we were really supposed to be doing I might have actually played out in a halfway decent way. The whole, let's go see a movie went right over my head. I went and saw the movie!
Looking back now it's funny but at the time I was very frustrated.
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2020.08.28 11:50 RepresentativeState3 Has anyone with Aspergers dated an extrovert

So I’m an Aspie who is kind of attracted to extroverts, so I was wondering if anyone with Aspergers or ASD dated an extrovert and if so how was it. And if your an extrovert would you date an Aspie?
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2020.08.28 07:00 aspie_venting Is anyone else just really lonely?

21M here. The last 10 months have been pretty shitty for me. Had a mental breakdown in public, said and did stuff I shouldn’t have, and my girlfriend (who I honestly wanted to marry) broke up with me. Now, while I have moved on, I can’t even go out to meet new people because of COVID-19 (despite Australia being relatively safe). I just feel really lonely despite how kind my friends are being.
I’d honestly just like to meet a girl who can relate with me, with Aspergers or something similar. Someone who I can help with the lessons I learnt the hard way, so that I can turn something bad that happened to me into something good. The problem, of course, being that I can’t go out. As for long-distance relationships, I can’t find any decent dating sites.
I don’t suppose anyone here could point me in the right direction for a place to meet other aspies near Sydney, or aspie dating sites that actually work?
And if anyone here is going through something similar, feel free to talk to me or even just vent in the comments.
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How to Date an Aspie  Patrons Choice - YouTube Dating Advice For People With Asperger Syndrome - YouTube DATING ADVICE FOR MEN W/ ASPERGER'S SYNDROME  TSL Podcast Dating someone with aspergers - 6 myths of asperger ... Dating with Asperger's: Treacherous Territory Dating An Autistic - How To Have A Relationship With An ... What is it like to date a guy with Asperger's? - Part 1 ... Dating An Aspie- A Year On! Help! I Love An Aspie! (how to love someone with aspergers ...

Aspergers And Dating - Aspergers Test Site

  1. How to Date an Aspie Patrons Choice - YouTube
  2. Dating Advice For People With Asperger Syndrome - YouTube
  3. DATING ADVICE FOR MEN W/ ASPERGER'S SYNDROME TSL Podcast
  4. Dating someone with aspergers - 6 myths of asperger ...
  5. Dating with Asperger's: Treacherous Territory
  6. Dating An Autistic - How To Have A Relationship With An ...
  7. What is it like to date a guy with Asperger's? - Part 1 ...
  8. Dating An Aspie- A Year On!
  9. Help! I Love An Aspie! (how to love someone with aspergers ...

This topic was chosen by the Aspergers From The Inside Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/aspergersfromtheinside If you're going to date an Aspie the... Hello LOVEBIRDS 🐦 ️ Welcome to the NEW and BEST video series out there about Autism and what it’s like to date and Autistic or Aspie (Person with high funct... This is just me talking about my experiences dating guys with Asperger's Syndrome. In the first part of this video, I describe some things I noticed early in... Dating Advice for Asperger's Syndrome, how to get an amazing social and sexual life while having Asperger's Syndrome. We hear about the frustrations of dating someone with Aspergers, or cheap ... 'E' tells what she has learned about dating with Asperger's Syndrome. She shares her rules and why they work. Thank you for you guys' questions, and thank you to Brad for doing a second video with me! We forgot to mention that we have just bought a house and things a... If you are dating someone with aspergers syndrom - AS - and you want to understand your 'aspie' better here are 6 myths we would like to dispel. If you are i... http://lifey.org/health Dating Advice For People With Asperger Syndrome . People on the Autism Spectrum are worthy of love but there are a few things you need to know in order to create a healthy relationship that is beneficial for...